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you are not the failure. society is. don't blame yourself. all kids think that something like this will be rejected. i know someone that is gay, they thought the same thing. maybe they have heard things from people their age, negative things. the jokes about gays can be cruel, also. you just reassure this boy that you love him and are proud to be his parent. he will realize that you are telling the truth by your actions. accept who he dates, things he chooses to talk with you about. not judging him, that's the best parenting in the world. bravo for you!

I think it is normal for you to feel that way, but I also think that it was normal for your son to feel the way he did. A lot of times, parents become hostile or disown their children if something like this comes out. Your son may still be trying to get use to the fact that he is gay. Being there to support him and seeing you comfortable with the fact that he is gay will help him know that you love and care about him. It is natural for him to feel this way, try not to take it personal.

o hun...of course its normal. its not you at all I'm sure you're very accepting and love him very much, especially for this to bother you so. from birth, children try to be all they can be in their parents eyes and he's your son-he just wants to make you proud. maybe in his eyes he feels that by being gay he is letting you down. sit him down and tell him that you will love him no matter what, you always have, and never to be scared to tell you anything in the future because you will always accept him. good luck and it's great that he's out, now he can be himself one of my dearest friends is gay and can't come out because his father and his older brother torment him and tell him he would be a failure. it's terrible. your son is very lucky to have an accepting and loving father like yourself.

It's normal that you feel that way, but you shouldn't. I was always told by my mother that she would always love and accept me no matter what, and that I could always talk to her about anything, but there were times when I was growing up that I was scared if she knew certain things that she would hate/love me less. So you shouldn't feel like a failure. I'm sure it was nothing you did that made him scared to tell you.

Just tell your son how much you love him, and that you accept him exactly how he is, and that nothing in this world could ever change how much you care about him. And tell him that he can talk to you about anything, and never fear being judged.

Good Luck finding the answer your looking for.

I wouldn't worry about, i have had friends (yes i know not the same as a child) who were reluctant to come out to be despite it being well known i had other gay friends. i think it is just hard for a gay teen to admit it to ANYONE until they are feel more comfortable with the realization of who they are. Just make sure to be there for him and i believe you will both get past this and probably have a stronger relationship in the end

Its was okay to feel like that.

Kind'a normal feelings but you have to bear in mind that above all, your son have admit to you even though it is hard and maybe painful.

There might be a reason why he had not tell you earlier bout his conflict.

He might be afraid to hurt your feelings because he loved you. Just like you love him...

It is normal for you to feel this way but you should still understand that even though your son had a hard time coming out to you it would be hard for anyone. Just because he had fears and was scared doesn't make you a failure. He knows now that he can trust you.

Normal.



Actually it's cool you care enough to say what he couldn't.



He's probably relieved you didn't reject him.



He may feel self hatred and confusion because some people see it as a bad thing.



Keep talking to him.

It's not surprising that he'd be afraid to come out to anyone. Don't take it personally. You're not a failure. The fact that he did confide in you at all is a testament to your success as a parent.

DON'T!!! Your a great parent for not hating him.... Your not a failure!! You would be if you told your son that you never wanted to have anything to do with him anymore....

Just keep on loving him and be glad that their are no secrets anymore!!

Its ok. My sisters son is gay to...she just found out and felt the same way. Its normal to feel that way. You just have to be really supportive about it.

definatly normal.

most kids are scared of telling their parents incase they are dis-owned, etc.

dont take it personally, its a general thing.

You're totally a scuess if your child is willing to open up to you, no matter what they tell you.

Perfectly normal.

Some are gay. Some dye their hair orange. Some peirce their .. hell, everything. It is what it is. Not a big deal.

It's only normal.

yes your child and you just need some 1 on 1 time

yea man normal

he was just scared.... thats good that you didnt dis own him ... i think that you are a great parent

I am mom to 4 kids who are now 29, 26, 23, and 10. Our 26 year old is our only son and he is gay. I don't know how old your son is, but my husband and I each secretly suspected our son was gay when he was in high school. Neither of us wanted to really think it, not that we wouldn't love him, but we knew how hard it would be for him living in a society that wouldn't always accept him. When he was 19, he decided to go out of state to college. While he was there, he met some people who became his good friends (not romantic) he felt he could be "real" with and he went through some difficulties with depression and anxiety (we've some strong family history of both). Those seemingly unrelated things helped him to work through his confusion, worry and fear so he was able to tell us that he was gay. Every person is different, but for my son, his reluctance to tell us was based as much on fear of what we would say and do as it was on his confusion of what this would mean to his life if he began to tell people about his homosexuality. I think most parents say (and I believe they really mean it) that if their child grew up to be homosexual that they would love him/her just as much if they were not. However, I also believe few people gaze lovingly at their newborn son or daughter and in their hopes and dreams for him/her include their desire for him/her to grow up to be gay or lesbian. It is normal to feel as though you are a parental failure when your child fears coming to you about issues of personal nature, but I also think some of the reluctance for anyone to share personal issues is a natural defense mechanism to protect the most vulnerable part of your very being. Your son and you will be OK. You have the love and acceptance he needs and now that he knows he has that from you, he will be more confident speaking to you about things.