E-Answer.Net

 
  • Increase font size
  • Default font size
  • Decrease font size
Home Pregnancy & Parenting Newborn & Baby Have you regreted thanking your husband
Pregnancy & Parenting

Have you regreted thanking your husband

About a week ago, I say my hubby down. I talked to him for a long while and thanked him for being such a good husband anf father. Pointing out the things that I loved that he did for me and our son. The next day he stopped. I mean I am a for the most part a stay at home mom. But from Friday through Sunday, I do work 30 hours+. I came home tonight as the last few nights to a messed up home. No sleep up all night cleaning. I got home about 10:30, it is now almost 2AM. I have finally got everything back to where it should be. Now when he is working I have dinner made by the time he gets home along with everything else done. He USED to take our son off my hands for a good hour or two at night. But now after thanking him, he has not even when I asked. I am about to explode at the moment. I just wanted to thank him. But I doubt I ever will again. I tried talking to him yesterday. Aparently nothing sank in.
10 Comments


Dwaune p
Votes: +0

maybe he thought that because you said thank you. you didnt need his help with anything.but this is what i would do if i was in your shoes.i would stop cooking him dinner and if he says wheres my dinner say i didnt have any time i had to tend to the baby.and if he is the type of guy that dosent like disorder dont clean let the house get messy and if it gets really out of order.say to him im sorry about the mess but ive been giving all of my time to the baby.and if that dosent work force him to watch the baby.if hes watching tv or something put the baby in his baby seat and leave him with the baby and you take your time and cook then clean and then you take a break and keep forcing him until he does it himself.email me and tell me how it works out.

report abuse
vote down
vote up
E
Votes: +0

is this the only time this has happened? i mean that you noticed a change in his behavior after showing appreciation? i doubt that it's because of you thanking him. maybe it's because of other reasons. maybe he's tired too? he's got a problem? or theres something you did that pissed him off somehow? i dunno. but pls dont regret thanking your husband. from the way it sounded, i think he deserves it. maybe you two just need to talk again

report abuse
vote down
vote up
babyB
Votes: +0

I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better my spouse can be the same way sometimes. That just succks that you went out of your way to say thank you and show you appreciation and he stops doing the very things you spoke of. That seems odd. Well I hope things get better and congratulations on the baby.

report abuse
vote down
vote up
tonnie_r...
Votes: +0

i am sorry for your situation; however to answer your ?; no, i have never regretted thanking my hubby bc he does a LOT for me and my daughter and i am a sahm and he is the breadwinner....and he's a wonderful dad, and a thoughtful husband...most of the time, LOL...

report abuse
vote down
vote up
ilovemyl...
Votes: +0

welcome to my club lol . i think they like taking breaks. i think he'll go back to normal once again keep talking to them hopefully it doesnt lead to a fight it did for me.

report abuse
vote down
vote up
Janet
Votes: +0

Sound like you should have ended the conversation with "keep it up". This happened to me once. After I told my hubby that he's the best and does more for me than most husbands do I noticed him slacking off a little bit. He stopped helping out around the house but right when I was ready to say something to him he picked back up again. Maybe he's just taking a little vacation, a break from the helping out. If he doesn't get back into gear soon I think you'll have to talk to him again and emphasize the part where you couldn't do it without him.

report abuse
vote down
vote up
L K
Votes: +0

What did you do to set him down to thank him, guy's take a set down talk as major, your priming us for **** to hit the fan. So what is wrong? If every thing was OK just deal with his crap for a few days, but dont clean up all the mess Friday & Saturday leave it.

Next time you want to thank him make it quick, good dinner and just mention it, do not make it a big deal.

report abuse
vote down
vote up
Cortney & Nathan
Votes: +0

I've noticed that before with my husband. We try and be good wives ...and show them just how grateful we are for such helpful dedicated dad's and husbands...and then it comes right back to smack us in the face. Generally my husband is a HUGE help...as it sounds your husband is. I'm sure this isn't the first time he has slacked off on his part of the chores...it's just bad timing. Maybe he thinks since you noticed how much effort he was putting into making life easier for the two of you...you won't be as upset if he takes a break...or maybe by thanking them...we point out just how hard they work and they feel they deserve a break. Whatever his reason- he'll come out of it. Things will eventually get back to normal. Don't stop thanking him- maybe just do it more often so it isn't such a reminder/shocker to him.

report abuse
vote down
vote up
Spicytun...
Votes: +0

I'm not married, but it always helped me to put all my troubles out on paper then give the paper to the person. Words come out better when it's written, since I clam up and get angry when I try to negotiate, so I write, and he has no choice but to read. hopefully that helps, if it's your thing. Try sitting down and talking to him, while the baby is asleep or not being a distraction, and not when you both are tired from work. Be at a really relaxed state so anxiety and frustration won't cloud your words. You guys both have to sacrifice especially since you share a child. Having a scheduled plan on how you guys divide the work to be done at home could help big. But he has to agree to it, and see how much it means to you. Don't demand it, he won't listen, tell him it would mean a lot to you and look into his eyes and sincerely mean it. Hope this helps, negotiation is a life lesson.

report abuse
vote down
vote up
new mommy
Votes: +0

yeah tey do this at times... my theory is that this is their own reward for a good job... they take a vacation for a cou[ple of days.... the helping at home and with kids does not con=me naturally to most men.. weirdly it is still' helping' out at home for them.. it is not like it is a part of their jiobs as well.... so when they get thnaked.. it is like a project is completed and they ahve a few days of relaxation before it starts again... very frustrating when IT is actually happening but in retrospect it is very funny... they are like little kids...

IT will pass...he will help... talk to him again if needed... keep a sense of humour.. ( difficult ) and good luck..

report abuse
vote down
vote up

Write comment
 
 
quote
bold
italicize
underline
strike
url
image
quote
quote
smile
wink
laugh
grin
angry
sad
shocked
cool
tongue
kiss
cry
smaller | bigger
 

busy