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My youngest child was born 8 weeks early and spent 1 1/2 months in the NICU. There is nothing to compare the stress and complete exhaustion too under those circumstances. Unless someone has ever had to deal with seeing their newborn hooked up to a ton of IV's sticking out of their little bodies, monitors going off, breathing tubes and so on, they have no clue and it is very cruel and heartless for anyone to find humor in that. I don't have an answer for you as to what her problem may be but I do know that right now you are in no frame of mind to have to deal with someone like that. Nor do you have the time or energy to try and figure out what her problem is. It's her problem to deal with not yours. Your focus is on your child. I would just nicely tell her that "Right now I can't deal with the humor you find in any of this, so it's best that you just stay away from me"

I can also tell you that feeling a bit jealous when you see other moms leaving with their baby is completely normal and it hurts because it was what you planned on doing and can't. All of your emotions are very real and my heart goes out too you. Surround yourself with people that are going thru the same thing, it really helps. I don't know where you are from but the hospital my son was born in had a support group for parents of children in the NICU and it was one of the best things I could have done for myself at that time.

Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Stay positive and stay away from anyone (no matter who it is) that causes you any more grief then you are already going thru.

Best of luck to you and your little one.

I expect that you SIL is trying to make light of the situation to try to cheer you up and/or because she doesn't know how to handle the situation. Many people who feel awkward use humor as a defense mechanism.

I would honestly say to her: "Look I appreciate that you are trying to make this sh*tty situation seem a little less serious. but it is not helping. Actually, it is making things worse. I feel sad, and your jokes are making me want to cry."



That should get her to stop and I expect will also get an appology from her.

Sounds like your SIL is trying to make light of the situatuion, which is completely inappropriate. Unfortunatley, some people do not know how to act during stressful times and they often do more harm than good. I would ask your hubby to talk to her and let her know that you are having a difficult time and need all the support you can get. Sounds like you need lots of shoulders to lean on right now.



Good luck to you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Does she have children? My guess would be no, she sounds very insensitive. Maybe she is trying to make light of it to make you feel better? Not working, I know, but maybe it is her way. Or maybe she is jealous of you for having a baby.

Either way, it is very insensitive and immature of her. Could your husband politely tell her that neither of you find it funny, and it is hurting your feelings?

I feel for you, that was my worst nightmare. I would be jealous too! I hope your baby gets better soon and come home with Mom and Dad!!

When people are confronted by death or serious illness they use humor to try to make it better, which is all she's doing. If it's crossing the line between helpful and hurtful, just tell her, she'll back down if she has any sense at all.



Baby will be fine Mom, get some rest, it'll all work out..

Who really knows whats wrong with her, but why just not have her visit or speak to you at all. You dont need that and it is not fair to you . I would tell her not to come around and just leave. You have enough to worry abou than someone who is being insensitive to you.

her problem is that some people lack common sense



this is the case with a number of my in laws.



unfortunately the only answer is: IGNORE or don't go around her.

Does your sister in law have kids? She might be jelous that you even had a child.



My SIL hates me because I have kids and she cant have any. so she makes mean comments all the time.

welll, maybe she's jealous.

idk, just a suggestion. ?

welll i send you all my prayers !

& congrats & goood luck ! <3

may god bless you alll.

maybe she doesnt know how 2 comfort you so she tries 2b funny to help you?

She is an idiot.



You are very normal to feel jealous. I would.

Having a baby in the NICU can be an isolleting experience. Loved ones don't understand how emotional and frustrating the whole thing is. Your baby is fighting but oh so small, your stuck in a hospital laddened with reminders that you should STILL be pregnant. The worst is watching other NICU babies go home. Especially if you watched the baby get there. It was always the hardest to watch other families come and go, why do they get to leave so quickly?

Your sister really just may not get it. She also may be scared. When a baby is in the NICU some members of the family may build a resistence to the whole experience to gaurd themselves from building a bond with the baby, in fear somthing may happen. This is also a horrible time for you, she may just not know what to say. She is your sister though, so talk to her. Let her know how you feel. You may be happily surprised to find out she is oblivious to what you mean. She may just be trying to cheer you up.

Her problem is that she's being incredibly insensitive and isn't thinking before she speaks. Some people deal with stress and sadness and worry in different ways. She obviously isn't dealing with it properly. Next time she says something, say exactly what you just told us. Tell her that there is nothing funny about your daughter being in NICU and she can either stop with the inappropriate comments or she can keep her mouth shut all together and just stay away.



My mother-in-law was the same way. I was in the ICU for two days after getting my tubes tied and in recovery for another 5 days because the doctor cut and tied an artery rather than my fallopian tube. I bled out for hours. Once I finally came home (missing the first week of my newborns life), my mother-in-law thought it was "funny" to say inappropriate things. Like, "I told you you should have made Billy get fixed rather than yourself." or "Well, at least you got a break from the kids and the baby for a week." or other stupid comments like that. She's lucky she never got slapped. lol



I pray that your daughter will get to come home to you very, very soon. God Bless.

next time she says something insensitive, gently and as nicely as you can muster, tell her how it makes u feel, and use that...i feel this way when ever i hear this or that, etc..to help from putting her on the defensive side; and only bc it is possible, esp if she is young or immature, that she is trying to lighten things up a bit for you but doesnt' know how to properly communicate to you...she also may have no idea what to say to you in this kind of situation and be trying the humor thing bc she doesnt know what else to say....if you tell her , and she continues, i would absolutely ignore her if you cant avoid her, and avoid her if you can...u should be able to tell the nurses that you don't want her to visit if you feel you need to go that far bc she just upsets you and you don't feel that your child needs a more upset mother than they already have due to circumstances...your child needs your undivided, loving, calm, reassuring attention right now esp...so do what is best for both of you....you could also have your husband approach her about it if you don't feel comfortable since i am assuming it is his sister, or your brother if it is the other way around...hope this helps...(and take her general personality into account when you decided to approach her..is she usually sweet and supportive? or generally self-centered and sarcastic at other's expense...)

I'm sorry!! And I really hope you get to bring your little girl home soon! My son was in the NICU (because he was sick) for a week and I thought that was long enough! -- you must be completely exhausted!



I'm going to guess too that she's jealous that you have a baby and she doesn't. Have you told her that you're going through a rough time, and don't appreciate the extra comments?



It'll be a wonderful day when you're able to bring your daughter home! And you'll probably enjoy it even more than the parents who are able to bring their baby home right away.