E-Answer.Net

Well, as you know your boy's father is enjoying abusing you once again by jerking you around. From all you say he's obviously an unfit person to be a parent. Too bad you ever reconnected with him.



Your problem today is you are a nervous wreck and hate to wait till Friday. You might have to wait for Monday, if you're in the U.S. as Friday is a legal holiday... the 4th of July.



Call your attorney's office today and talk to his secretary. Ask her if he has an assistant, or someone who can talk to you to alleviate your suffering from the fears this has dumped on your head.



Even though I doubt the birth father has any right, and probably has met the legal requirement for abandonment, that doesn't stop him from harassing you and abusing you once again by making a claim he really has no right to make! He likes to abuse you. He gets off on doing so. Now he's doing it all over again. His actions over the years prove he never had any interest in the baby. Since he had contact with you before your son was age 1, he has known where you were, and if he had any interest, he COULD have given his child some time and attention. He doesn't want the child. He doesn't want a relationship with his son. He just wants to hurt YOU once again.

cw

Well, sure he has the right to fight (even though he doesn't deserve it), but given the history of not being there and his violent history, it probably won't go anywhere for him. Unless you have the most ridiculous judge in Ohio, the judge will rule in your favor.

1. The father doesn't want to lose parental rights of his baby and thats his choice. I think you need to respect that despite "your" personal relationship with him being over. Unless he's a danger to the child, you will not be able to force him to give up his son. In Ohio, all he'll need to do is get an attorney and fight you.



2. It should be your child's decision not see his father not yours. Just like I tell adoptive parents they cant change that their adoptive child has a mother, I will tell you that you cant change your sons biology with a piece of paper, just because it doesn't suit you.



3. Becareful next time on who you want as the daddy of your baby. This one sounds like a loser.

I think the law has you covered. But, regardless, if he's as bad as you are writing here, he'll give up on your son, again.



It's sad that your son will experience the pain of this idiot for years. Hopefully your husband can read up on how to best handle different issues with him as they pop up.



Again, even if he keeps fighting, don't give up, because he probably will. And, good luck!

Each state's laws are different, you'll probably have to get a lawyer to make sure, but have you talked to the father to find out why he's contesting it now? Is he trying to be a jerk or has he "grow up" so to speak and realized he doesn't want to lose his son?





ETA sorry I didn't see your additional details before I answered, he probably is being a jerk.

Dear LeAnn,



I think your son's first dad sounds like a jerk. I understand why you are wanting to do this and am sorry that it isn't going as smoothly as you would like. It sounds as though the Court would have excellent grounds for terminating his parental rights.



I do, however, have some general issues with step-parent adoptons of young children.



I personally feel that step-parent adoptions should be at the request/with the approval of the CHILD after the child is old enough to understand all that adoption entails. (Loss/Gain of Inheritance Rights, Medical Ramifications of false family histoy, etc.)



The Loco Parentis* docterine allows for rights to step-parents.



Adoption is a PERMANT change to a person's IDENTITY, history and legal standing.



Names can be changed, children can be included in wills and insurance policies and step-parents can have parental rights all without adoption. I see no real purpose in it unless it is an expression of relationship that has been agreed to by the TWO people it effects.



If a child sees a step-parent as their Mom or Dad the parent-child relationship CANNOT be denied. Likewise, if a child never has a relationship with a biological relative, their DNA will still be related. Relationships are real, in ALL their various forms, whether or not a paper says so. Their depth or lack thereof cannot really be and should not be determined by Judges, Laws, documents, or third parties for someone else (exceptions for protection of abuse victims, criminals, etc) - ONLY by those living them.



I am a step-mom of three, myself, and the kids call me Mom. I would never wish to adopt any of them unless they asked me to as adults. I am happy with the role I have in their lives and repect their relationship with their Mother and their biological heritage.



***getting off soapbox now***





As I said before, I do understand your desire to make your blended family "official", many people do it - I have feelings about it which are only my opinion. You have an excellent possibility of TPR for your son's first father. I do think it is good for your son, that his first father contested - depending on how you handle it with your son - he can see this as his father not wishing to totally abandon him. (How you you feel if your parent just didn't fight for you at all?) Hopefully some day his first father will get himself together and be a positive part of your son's life. I hope that you will encourage and allow a relationship between them if his first father if he manages to get it together someday.



I wish you and your family luck and hope that WHATEVER happens ends up being the best thing for your son and your family. I hope all of you have a happy and healthy future!



*Wiki actually has a great explaination for explaining Loco Parentis in plain English.